On A Serious Note: Poisonous Relationships

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For some sad reason, I keep finding myself wondering why completely normal and usually exceptional girls (myself included) tend to continuously fall for guys who turn out to be the worst thing for them. The majority of these girls are unfortunately in my generation, and if I could earn a dime every time I heard a friend or acquaintance tell me how she’s being completely screwed over by an awful guy whom she still can’t seem to get over, I WOULD BE RICH AS HELL. Within these all-too-common situations, there are usually two different types of guys that us ladies are involved with. The first type is the guy who acts so sweet and endearing most of the time that you can’t help but fall for him and believe that there’s NO WAY that he would play you, even when all signs indicate that he is. It’s not until you or your friends catch him red-handed and swapping spit with another girl at the bar that you realize he actually is the typical scumbag that the rest of the world has warned you about. The second type of guy that we may find in these poisonous relationships is the one who initially seems a little sweet, but also shows off a dangerous side whenever you’re hanging out. This “bad boy” persona somehow only draws you in even more and before you know it, the guy is sending you the most hurtful and degrading text messages.

When women get involved with these two types of idiots, it almost always starts out with what I like to call the “pre-relationship honeymoon phase.” During these first few weeks of getting to know and hang out with a new fling, the girl and guy have fun, party together, exchange flirty text messages, and hook up. However, when this blissful yet brief phase comes to an end, the confusing and awkward phase comes a knockin.’ This usually begins when the girl starts to reciprocate her feelings toward the guy who, since the beginning of their relationship, was only interested in having a hookup buddy. Unfortunately, the girl, who may or may not have been informed of his outlook on their relationship, can’t help but reveal that she may eventually want an actual relationship with the guy. This awkward moment for both parties will usually lead to the guy slowly but surely disappearing from the girl’s life. Whether he is doing this by ignoring her calls, sending degrading texts, or constantly coming up with excuses for why he can’t hang out, this is when the exciting new fling turns into an emotional rollercoaster ride.

Only worsening the entire situation, the majority of girls who find themselves stuck at this point in a “relationship” are only maddened and confused by her guy’s actions instead of getting the hint and ending the relationship ASAP. When girls choose to stick around at this point, they’ve usually let their emotions take over any former pride, confidence, or self-control and instead become what many guys like to label as “crazy” or “psycho.” From here, things can only get worse and it’s officially past time to GET OUT of the relationship that never should’ve even existed. Yes, you may have learned a lot from the situation but in the end, none of it is worth the emotional damage and stress that the idiot probably caused you.

I honestly have no golden solution to this issue that plagues the love lives of so many women in my generation, but I do hope that things will get better for the next generation of relationships. I also know that perspectives and attitudes NEED to change among both men and women for things to improve. We, as women, need to realize our worth and stop letting men take advantage of our stereotyped inferiority. We also need to stop treating ourselves like we’re nothing better than hookers; maybe then the guys will stop treating us like we’re disposable. Men, on the other hand, need to realize that they are NOT the most important beings on this planet and in NO way have the right to rotate and use women like they’re toys.

Have a good Sunday everyone, and if you’re in a relationship, make sure to give your significant other some love. XOXO

P.S. – Men, I apologize for the biased-sounding post, but in my opinion, bias doesn’t matter when the writing is genuine.

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